The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

It’s part three.

OK kids, you know that I would rather walk on my lips than to criticize anybody… nevertheless let me take a moment to re-assess our situation here with the Hobbit.

The prequel to The Lord of the Ring trilogy....



To recap, the book The Fellowship of the Ring is 398 pages long. The book The Two Towers is 327 pages and the book Return of the King is 412 pages long. Each of these books were neatly adapted into award winning films of some length --178 minutes, 179 minutes, and 201 minutes respectively.



Once again, with this information, could someone please elucidate as to why the book The Hobbit, a book that is only 310 pages long was adapted into three, yes three cinematic episodes 169 minutes, 161 minutes, and finally a 144 minute picture? It makes no sense! Let me, if I may, point out the following; if I am not mistaken The Hobbit is a children’s’ book. A predecessor to the epic stories of The Lord of the Ring it may be, but it was first and foremost a CHILDRENS book. Now in my mind I would think that this is a great opportunity to create a film that is

A) Scaled back, literally and figuratively told from the perspective of a Hobbit, perhaps making it not so extravagantly warlike and grisly.

B) Is childlike, more whimsical while still full of intricate details that pay homage to the stories that will follow, yet still shrewd enough perhaps only to be appreciated by the truly devout fans, thereby letting the story and film stand on its own.

And

C) Made once (not three times) and under two hours!

This final chapter to a seemingly never ending story was in my mind a huge let down. It picks up right where we last left off and like the subtitle informs us, it is a battle of the five armies. That’s pretty much it. That's right ***spoiler alert*** there is an ostentatious battle of five armies. No plot points mind you – just a giant mêlée that plays out like a soap operatic epilogue. Although the special effects are spectacular the movie itself presents the audience with about 3 minutes of new information divided up by 141 minutes of fighting and backdrops.

For those that are earnest fans of the marathon stories it is a must see, but for those that are barely enthusiasts. Ehhh.

** Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for violence and gore)

Official Site: http://www.thehobbit.com/

Penguins of Madagascar

Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private become the target of the devious Dr. Octavius Brine. An elitist’s special ops group, known as The North Wind, comes to the rescue in an effort to stop Dr. Oct and his evil plan.


It’s forgettable. It’s cute and has very clever dialogue, most of which will be way over the head of small children. The plot itself is marginal and the characters are pretty one dimensional. However what it lacks in heart it makes up for in cynicism as it doesn’t take itself seriously in any way, which can be fun.

Nothing to run out and see, but a tolerable hour and a half at the movies if needs be.

** Rentable

Rated PG (for mild rude humor and action)

Official Site: http://madagascar.dreamworks.com/

Interstellar

In the not too distant future the earth is dying, running out of natural resources.  While humanity concentrates its efforts, finances and education on the necessities of survival; food and water. One man and his crew of explorers look to the stars to find hope and a new home for the human race. 

Writer/director, Christopher Nolan has been nearly flawless in his career with hits like Memento, The Prestige, Inception, The Dark Knight trilogy to name a few.  However, this one kind of missed the mark for me.  It's a thought provoking, somewhat mind-bending film, that is apparently based very much in scientific fact (all the more mind-bending).  An all-star cast gives great performances all around with some unexpected and unadvertised big name actors.  The special effects are very well done, to the point where you don't even think about them as effects.  

The story starts out well enough, but we don't quite fall in love with the characters, I didn't seem to care enough about them.  Also, the looming doom of the human race could've been a little more explicit.  The movie is far too long and I kind of lost interest about 30-35 minutes from the finish line.  Thankfully the resolution is fairly satisfying but still lacked the high level emotional punch that most of Nolan's films seem to end with.  

Where the film does succeed on some levels is in making you contemplate the vastness of space, the insignificance yet essential role of mankind in the universe and the great importance of being present for our loved ones and making the sacrifices necessary for their survival.

**1/2 Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for language and intense situations)

Official Website: http://www.interstellarmovie.net/

The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay, Part 1

Katniss Everdeen has been covertly freed from the life-threatening, population-controlling Hunger Games and is now the face of the rebellion against the Capitol.

Yet another series divides the final chapter into 2 movies, further padding the studios pockets and supposedly giving the fans more of what they want.  While this is a very intense, well acted movie, it does feel like they had to stretch things out to make it a full length movie.  Also it fails to give us a true resolution, which of course we'll get in part 2 of the finale.  Like I said, it is very intense, but possibly in need of a little more humor here and there to change the pace up a bit.  I have not read the books, but I can only imagine the intensity is lessened when you know what's going to happen, as I'm told the films are quite faithful to the books.  I enjoyed the movie, was very into it, but was annoyed when it ended, realizing I had to wait another year or two to find out what happens...or I guess I could read the books.

*** out of 4 - worth a trip to the theater, especially if you've invested time in the first two.

Official Site: http://www.thehungergamesexplorer.com/us/

Big Hero 6

Young science prodigy Hiro Hamada, his robotic health care companion, Baymax and friends team up to create a new band of superheroes.

Because of my line of work I was allowed to see this movie several months ago when it was nearly 80% storyboards. It was interesting to see the changes from storyboard animatic to completely animated, rendered, finished film. The story barely changed. Where it made leaps and bounds was obviously in the subtlety of the performances through completed character animation. The characters are completely endearing, appealing and funny, especially the robot Baymax. The story has a surprising amount of heart and emotion, as well as some really, inventive action sequences.

Must See ***1/2

Official Site: http://movies.disney.com/big-hero-6/mobile/

Horrible Bosses 2

Our three would be heroes return, this time they are starting their own business in an effort to be their own bosses, nevertheless their new business is pushed to the point of bankruptcy when they are double crossed by a wealthy investor. Angry and determined to get their business back they decide on a new venture…kidnapping.

So this wasn’t really a surprise. The cast is funny. The humor is crude and crass and the plot predictable. The storyline in general is perhaps more plausible that the original flick, but the characters themselves have morphed into a modern version of the three stooges. This makes it a tad off putting to watch at times as they are complete bumbling idiots. That wasn’t really the case in the first movie – they were just three guys that were in way over their heads and had no criminal, particularly murderous, ability in them. Dumb? Perhaps, but they were not total morons. That seems to have changed a tad in the sequel.

Still, having said all of that, it is funny and worth renting.

** Rentable

Rated R (for language and brash humor)

Official Site: http://horriblebosses2.com/

Big Hero 6

A misguided teenaged whiz kid is lured into applying for college when he is introduced to his brothers’ friends, a group of highly skilled high-tech nerds not to mention his brothers’ latest creation, an inflatable robot named Baymax.


Monsters Inc. meets Iron Man. This was incredibly fun and unexpectedly heartfelt. It is a little slow to start but once the pace is set it maintains both velocity and charm throughout the story. Take note that it may be a bit too dark for those little ones under the age of eight, as the story deals with death and loss.

In spite of its more serious theme it is extremely comical and has fabulous dialogue and random dry humor that brought forth bursts of laughter from a predominantly adult audience. This is a new and fun addition to the Marvel line up – and like all Marvel flicks – stay till the end of the credits.

*** ½ Must See

Rated PG (for violence and thematic elements)

Official Site: http://movies.disney.com/big-hero-6/

Nightcrawler

Lou Bloom is an ambitious yet socially awkward man that becomes captivated by the world of video journalism. Through some questionable means he obtains a camera and an assistant and begins his journey into freelance reporting of LA crime. As he becomes more and more successful, his already questionable ethics begin to blur, making him more and more dangerous.

Creepy. So very creepy. Jake Gyllenhaal is perhaps a little too good at portraying this character. Awkward and abrasive, the character Lou Bloom will actually make your skin crawl. The acting is amazing, the characters all intriguing even when off putting, but the story itself is weak and totally predictable.

Because of the obviousness of the storyline nothing is really surprising and in fact takes away, ever so slightly, from the sinister persona of the main character. What really saves this is the dialogue. The things that spew out of Gyllenhaal’s mouth – that is what makes him so chilling and disturbing.

Although predictable it is an acceptable thriller that will no doubt make you squirm a tad. Nothing to run out and see on the big screen, but worth adding to your Netflix cue.

** ½ Rentable

Rated R (for language and gore)

Official Site: http://www.nightcrawlerfilm.com/

Gone Girl

Nick Dunne comes home to find what looks like a break in and his wife, Amy is now missing. The more time he spends with the police trying to find her the more his story begins to unravel, leaving the police, their friends and family all to start questioning his involvement with her disappearance.

Creepy, twisted, suspenseful fun! If you like thrillers – see this. No spoilers here, the cast is awesome the story is unexpected, the ending intriguing.

Keep in mind however this movie is Rated R and for good reason. Lots of sex, lots of blood, lots of innuendo, lots of creepy crazy talk, lots of swearing and some nudity. Despite all of that however they did still manage to slip a storyline in too and it is just demented enough to keep the audience on their toes.

Have fun kids.

*** Must See

Rated R (for all of the above)

Official Site: http://www.gonegirlmovie.com/

My Old Lady

A man inherits a Parisian apartment upon the death of his estranged father. With all intent to sell the valuable real-estate and pocket the money his plans are slightly kinked when he finds out that along with the apartment, he has inherited the current resident as well; a 92 year old woman.

I expected this to be much more entertaining than it was. It has a magnificent cast, Kevin Kline, Maggie Smith, and Kristin Scott-Thomas all give spectacular performances, yet it is somewhat disorienting as to how sad and gloomy the back story is.

Billed as a light-hearted tale of circumstance and comedic charm it really is more about abandonment and unfulfilled life. The cumbersome story is spoon fed to the audience and at times leads to some awkward events. Also, the long verbal story telling grows tedious and at times gives the impression of an episode of ‘Reading Rainbow’ more so than a motion picture, which makes the movie seem much longer than it actually is.

Not a terrible movie, but extremely disappointing, as it is not good either.

*1/2 Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for language and sexual references)

Official Site: http://cohenmedia.net/films/my-old-lady

The Maze Runner

Young teenaged boys are randomly trapped in what they call “the glade” – a prison of sorts that is surrounded by a massive labyrinth. They have no memory of who they are, who sent them or why they have been sent there. The one thing they do know is that they want out and that the only way seems to be through the maze.


This was interesting. Admittedly, I did not read these books and went in blindly knowing nothing of the story. One could see how this was likely a better novel than film and I am curious to know what the fans thought of the adaptation. Nevertheless – as I read most books on screen here is my take:

The story was odd, it was as if they took  Lord of the Flies and mixed it up with the video game Contra (that is going back to the old school NES days, kids) and sprinkled in a bit of The Hunger Games. Let me break it down; Like Lord of the Flies it is an island of young teenaged boys that have battled amongst themselves for leadership, created a set of rules to keep the chaos at bay, and administer punishment to those that deviate. The characters, the plot, the sacrifices and the symbolism even are all very similar. For those of you that remember Contra – I swear the set design was totally based on it AND “the Grievers” taken right from the game. Finally, as in The Hunger Games, someone is pulling all the strings while chanting ‘may the odds be ever in your favor’.

The special effects are decent and again I would be curious as to how they hold up to the imagineering of the book. A tad underwhelming and very predictable but I suppose it’s a semi-entertaining movie.

** ½ Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for violence and language)

Official Site: http://themazerunnermovie.com/ 

The Judge

Hank Palmer, a hot-shot Chicago attorney, is summoned home to small town Indiana for his mothers’ funeral. His estranged father, a local Judge in the town, offers up an icy welcome and an invitation to depart quickly. As Hank prepares to leave his childhood home once and for all, things get even more complicated when he finds himself back in the local courtroom defending his father on a Murder charge.

You know up front when you go to a movie starring Robert Downey Jr., you are in it to see Robert Downey Jr. Am I wrong? You go to see him – be him. This is what made Iron Man so much fun, the alter ego is in fact Robert Downey Jr – not what’s his name? (Tony Stark – I looked it up) And Sherlock Holmes? What can be more fun than an antiquated Iron Man with a British accent? We love him for him; we all assume that he is the fast talking, self-effacing, cocky, brilliant, arrogant, self-assured super hero in real life. He just might be. So when he is found in the role of what one might consider more along the lines of, the common man, combined with a highly sophisticated cast, one can’t help but to sit back, smile and wait for the hero to arrive.

This movie is about a family – it is not a John Grisham novel. It is focused on the relationship between a father and son. The trial is skillfully weaved into the story and although in the forefront of the tale doesn’t take over the entire narrative. Robert Duvall does a fantastic job and Vera Farmiga steals every scene she is in. Clocking in at two hours and twenty-one minutes may be a deterrent to some, but the time flies by as the plot and the characters are all so engaging. A tinge sappy at times – but the wit makes up for it.

*** Must See

Rated R (for language and adult situations)

Official Site: http://thejudgemovie.com/

St. Vincent

Vincent lives alone with his cat.  He frequents strip clubs, bars, and racetracks eagerly disposing of his limited if not non-existent income.  The arrival of his new neighbor, Maggie, is just another event that he is completely indifferent to, until he sees an opportunity to make some extra cash by offering up his services as a baby sitter to Maggie's son Oliver.

Although the plot is predictable there is a great deal of charm that comes along with this flick.  Bill Murray is perfectly cast as the grouchy and belligerent Vincent, who has very few redeeming qualities, oh and spoiler alert - that doesn't change.  Perhaps that is what makes the film so endearing -- the characters don't change, they just learn to deal with one another and their many short comings.  Melissa McCarthy is fabulous as the straight man and holds her own with Murray.  Unsurprisingly the real star of the show is Jaeden Lieberher who is just brilliant as Oliver. Oh and Naomi Watts gives and unexpected yet sweet performance as well.

A little slow in places, but that is to be expected as this is much more of a character piece but really entertaining and many moments of laugh out loud humor.

*** Must See

Rated PG-13 (for adult themes and language)

Official Site: http://stvincentfilm.com/

Fury

Fury; the name given to a Sherman Tank commanded by a war-hardened sergeant that leads his platoon, along with a rookie gunman, deep behind enemy lines to secure the advancement of the Allies.

This is a spectacular movie.  It is gritty, and honest and brutally violent.  It does not sugar coat the realities of war or what it can do to the human spirit.  It is hard to watch as it is extremely intense with edge of your seat action.  Imagine The Hurt Locker  meets Saving Private Ryan. 

War movies, particularly those depicting World War II have become more realistic and less romanticized within the past few decades.  This film is no exception as Fury paints a cruel picture of what it must have been like for so many soldiers, specifically towards the end of the European conflict.

It should come as no surprise that the cast is absolutely amazing.  Brad Pitt is brilliant and the supporting cast even better as each of the actors' envelope their character and deliver stellar performances.  The story was detailed and relentlessly vicious. Expect lots of buzz come awards season.

**** Oscar Worthy

Rated R (for violence and language)

Official Site: http://www.fury-movie.net/site/

This Is Where I Leave You

Four siblings all come together for seven days to mourn the death of their father.  They each bring with them their own set of relationship issues and expose them for one another in front of their mother not to mention the entire community.

This was ok.  It definitely has its moments of funny dialogue, but nothing overly memorable.  The cast also gives a somewhat mediocre recital.  Jason Bateman is always a delight to watch, even in a bad movie, so his performance in a middling one is at least a step up.  Jane Fonda is also not at her best.  In general she has great comedic timing but seems uncomfortable with the discourse so her delivery is always slightly off.  Tina Fey also maintains the average with her deadpan approach and tactic style.  Each of these actor/actresses are all brilliant in their own right but the material they are working with just isn't up to par.  It was somehow trying too hard.  It wants to convey the message that life is complicated and yet takes itself and the situation of each of the characters a smidge too seriously.  It was as if Ordinary People met The Bill Chill, perhaps it could have been great, but it wasn't. Nevertheless it was entertaining enough to Netflix.

** Rentable

Rated R (for sexual content and language)

Official Site: http://thisiswhereileaveyou.com/

The Trip to Italy

Two men travel around Italy on a road trip trying out the latest hotels and restaurants and squeezing in some historical site seeing.

Premiering at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this year, this is a sequel to The Trip (2010).  It is literally a road trip with two very old friends that go around Italy trying out great food, staying in amazing hotels and seeing age-old points of interest all the while the audience is eavesdropping on their private, personal and very often ridiculous conversations.

There is really very little to this story, nevertheless, the nonsensical dialogue that we are privy to is absolutely hilarious.  It is basically their own commentary on pop culture, movies and celebrity impersonations.  While this may sound common enough; anyone that has had a running gag or inside jokes with old friends might appreciate their banter on some level.

This is a slow, deliberate dialogue expose' with pretty scenery. Probably not for everyone but I found it enjoyable.

*** Must See

Not Rated

What if

Wallace and Chantry meet at a party.  Due to current relationships and in spite of their obvious attraction for one another, they each decide that they will just be friends.

I really wanted to like this.  I did.  But I didn't.  I couldn't.  I can't.  I won't.  This is such a poorly written "love" story.  I can't put my finger on it exactly.  I am not clear if it is the unlikeable characters, the forced dialogue, the uninteresting story, the cast, or just the entire package, but I found myself annoyed right from the start and then just horrifically bugged by the end.

As a fan of the iconic When Harry met Sally, I really thought that this might be along those lines, perhaps with a dark modern twist.  No, not even up to par.  It is more like a trite attempt at brightening Annie Hall.  I can't reiterate enough how fake and staged the discourse was, not to mention that when it was all said and done, I not only didn't care about the characters and what happened to them, but I was bored by their plight in general.

I really wanted to like this.  I did.

I don't.

* 1/2 Barely Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for language and sexual content)

Let's Be Cops

Two best friends struggling to make ends meet within the City of Los Angeles dress as police officers for a costume party and accidentally become the neighborhood heroes. This new found adoration and “success” goes to their heads as they parade about LA doing “Police Work.” However they soon find their pretend badges tangled up with real life criminals.


I will admit that I went to go see this movie to see one line of dialogue.

“That’s what you get!”

Yep, that’s all I wanted to see. I had zero expectations going into this other than it would be stupid. I suppose I was accurate in that assumption, however, what was unexpected was how much I actually enjoyed the stupidity. The plot is totally absurd and ridiculous yet it immediately usurps all sense of logic and for some reason you roll with it. There are moments of laugh out loud farcicalities that reminded me of the antics of my teenaged brothers back in the day. It was surprisingly well cast and the characters have a random likability about them in spite of their own folly.

The movie is rated R and rightly so for language and some crude dialogue which is a disappointment as the perfect demographic for this flick seems to be boys under the age of seventeen. Nevertheless, aside from my editing critiques, the random story holes, or that the ADR is poorly synced I was still pleasantly entertained by the juvenile larks not to forget that the scene mentioned above, was totally worth it. 

** ½ Rentable

Rated R (for language, crude dialogue, and gun violence)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo; four mutated, turtle, ninja-warrior, brothers, leave the sanctuary of the sewers to save New York City from the dreaded Foot Clan led by the evil Shredder.

I'll preface my review by saying I was a huge Ninja Turtles fan as a kid. I had all the toys, religiously watched the cartoon series, played all the video games, even my 9th birthday party was an outing with all my friends to see the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie in the theater back in 1990.  We all left the theater jumping and kicking, pretending we were Ninja Turtles.  It is for the aforementioned facts, that much of this movie brought out the 9 year old in me, reminding me of the fun, comedy, and action of the original concept.  I'm sure some of the enjoyment came from my history with the characters, but there is a lot of fun action and some simple, nostalgic/juvenile humor.  That said, this was produced (not directed) by Michael Bay and company, so of course there were certain points that the action was pushed to be a little too wacky.  The story feels like it had the right elements, but wasn't given the time to work out all the kinks and really make it flow.  Some purists might be upset with changes to some characters origins, although I think they work better in this case.  The running time is nice and sleek at 1 hour and 40 minutes, unlike Bay's 2 hour 45 minute Transformers movies.  It also keeps the juvenile humor a little more kid friendly than the other said Bay franchise.  Perhaps the effects and motion capture work is getting overlooked because of the groundbreaking work that was released and heavily covered by the press just a month ago in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, but the effects and motion capture done for the actual turtles is beautiful, amazing stuff.  Overall it's action packed, stupid, silly, nostalgic fun.

**1/2 out of 4.  Theater worthy for fans of the Turtles and big FX action movies.  Rentable, if that for the rest.

The Hundred-Foot Journey

A family in search of a new home finds themselves in a small provincial French town. The patriarch of the family, despite his children’s protest, decides that it is in this town that they will rebuild their lives and open a restaurant…one hundred feet away from one of the most celebrated French restaurants outside of Paris.

This is a nice little light hearted movie about food. The characters are endearing, the setting is charming, the food is abundant, and the story is cute albeit about 40 minutes too long. Here’s the deal. This movie was reminiscent of Chocolat (2000) mixed in with a bit of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2012). With that in mind, there are many scenes of food, food prep, food mixing, and food tasting in an endeavor to entice the audience into the film’s world of piquancy and zest. Now, here is the problem, I am not a foodie nor food connoisseur of any kind. My favorite restaurant is McDonald’s and my favorite foods consist of diet Coke, dark chocolate and ketchup. So when they are mixing and tasting these elegant dishes, fawning over the spices and the mixture of flavors created, as a member of the uncouth dining population, I found myself somewhat at a loss. I suppose if amongst the glitz and glamour of the cuisine world or perhaps if you like to cook, one would be terribly impressed and salivate over the presentation. This technique, using the food as the star of the flick, worked divinely in Chocolat, because everyone knows what chocolate tastes like. In this, as a layman, I was somewhat underwhelmed by the seduction attempt.

Sweet but a tad over cooked.

** ½ Rentable

Rated PG (for language and brief violence)

Magic in the Moonlight

A British illusionist that makes a living debunking those claiming to be mystics or clairvoyant finds himself in unfamiliar territory when he is introduced to Sophie, a self-proclaimed medium whom he considers to be an American simpleton.


I have come to the conclusion that I really do love Woody Allen movies… but only when Woody Allen is not in them. This is really a sweet, charming little movie that will just make you smile. Colin Firth is fabulous as the pompous cynic that inadvertently insults his way across the screen. Emma Stone, who is a charismatic actress in her own right, surprisingly holds her own with Firth and the two have a plethora of delightful banter that again makes one happy to be at the movies.

This is a quiet and enchanting period piece that if an admirer of Midnight in Paris one is likely to find almost as entertaining.

*** ½ MUST SEE

Rated PG-13 (for mild language)

Guardians of the Galaxy

26 years after being abducted from earth, Peter Quill has grown up, light years away, only to become a shady outlaw. While attempting to obtain an orb, he finds himself in over his head and the target of Ronan the Accuser. With the unlikely help of four other criminals, each with their own plans for the orb in question, they attempt to keep it out of the hands of Ronan.


I had no expectations going into this. I have never even heard of Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s a comic book, right? Anyway, so I can’t tell you how surprised I was by how fun and entertaining this was. There are 80’s pop culture references peppered throughout the movie, which to anyone that grew up in the 80’s will thoroughly enjoy. The script is pretty fine-tuned and despite the fact, that like most comic book movies, the story is predictable and corny, it is still extremely amusing and engaging. The cast is also smashing. Very reminiscent of the original Star Wars ensemble.

This was a great summer movie and a reminder of the old blockbusters that I grew up with. The soundtrack is awesome too!

***1/2 MUST SEE

Rated PG-13 (for language, violence and sexually suggestive content)

Guardians of the Galaxy

Marvel takes things to outer space with a rag-tag group of criminals, thieves and assassins that join forces to save the galaxy!

One word to describe this movie; FUN!  It feels like a blend of Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and The Fifth Element rolled into something new and original.  It's actually quite a funny movie, great back and forth banter between the characters who are all interesting and funny in their own distinct way.  It also has a surprising amount of heart to it, and of course loads of fun action.  The first hour is so completely entertaining that the second half may suffer a tiny bit because of it.  One space battle/chase may go on a hair too long, but the movie clocks in at only 2 hours, so it flies by, unlike the bloated 2 hour 45 minute movies we usually get. Don't worry if you know nothing about the comic books, you don't need to.  Yes, it ties into the other Marvel movies, but this plays as it's own independent thing...that will eventually tie in more to the Avengers.  Everything about this movie is fun, entertaining and cool.  As always, stay after the credits.

**** out of 4.  Must See.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Peter Parker is back as the Amazing Spider-Man, trying to save NYC from evil-doers, unravel the mystery of his parents disappearance and balance his love for girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, whilst keeping a promise he made to her late police chief father to stay away from her in order to keep her safe.

This movie has it's moments.  The leads, Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker/Spider-Man and Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy have ample amounts of chemistry on screen (I understand they're dating in real life, so there you go) and are very good actors.  Their relationship, how Spider-Man balances his love for Gwen with his desire to keep her safe and honor her father's wishes, is very engaging, funny and emotional.  Where the movie suffers, like many superhero movies have before it, is with it's villains, as in too many of them.  Choose one and go with it.  Give us time to hate/fear him and give him screen time.  This almost felt like two movies jammed into one; a romantic comedy/drama mixed with your run of the mill Spider-Man villain story.  The villains are okay, they're not terrible, but the movie feels overstuffed, and some scenes with a mad scientist and Electro (Jamie Foxx), go over the top cheesy and feel oddly out of place.  The action and special FX are awesome.  Andrew Garfield is a much better Spider-Man than Tobey Maguire.

**1/2 out of 4.  Theater worthy if you're a Spider-Man/comic book fan.  Rentable if not. 

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Caesar, the leader of a thriving band of genetically enhanced apes, struggles to prevent war between his community and the dwindling human population gathered in what's left of downtown San Francisco.

This is an amazingly intense and well crafted film.  It almost reminds me of a mafia movie, disguised as a Planet of the Apes movie; lots of back-stabbing, rivalry and all-out war.  The performances of the apes, done by the actors in motion-capture suits and then brushed up and plussed by animators, is what really shines here.  What they've done is revolutionary and game-changing as far as special effects go.  The apes are 100% believable and photo-realistic.  Motion capture has been done before in many films, most notably with Golum in the Lord of the Rings, Avatar, King Kong and this movies predecessor, Rise of the Planet of the Apes. The difference here is they were able to do motion capture outside, in real locations and not in the confines of a special, green screen motion capture studio.  It really is astounding what they were able to accomplish.

The story is very interesting and keeps you wanting to know how the apes and humans will react to the others move.  The evolution we see of the apes use of sign language mixed with broken English and traditional ape communication is pulled off quite well, although I do feel they pushed the humanistic side of the apes a little too far in some small moments, although it's a necessary step, as the apes in these prequels will eventually all be walking upright and speaking fluent English, as these movies link up to the 1968 classic, Planet of the Apes, starring Charlton Heston.

***1/2 Must See

How to Train Your Dragon 2

Hiccup and Toothless are back, older, stronger and more epic than ever.  Their home of Burke is now a peaceful, flourishing dragon training haven, until the discovery of an ice cave, hundreds of new dragons and a mysterious dragon rider, threatens their entire existence.

As with most sequels, this doesn't quite soar to the heights of its predecessor, but that is no jab, this movie definitely soars.  The original film is one of the better animated films of the past 10 years in my book and definitely the best in the long line of films to come out of DreamWorks.  Great action, fun comedy and plenty of heart.  This one will leave you excited to see the next chapter.

***1/2 Must See

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Mutants, good and evil unite to send Wolverine into the past to stop a force that will destroy humans and mutants.

This is the best X-Men movie to date.  The casts of both the original X-Men movies and their prequel counterparts are present and all do a fine job.  There's plenty of fun, engaging action and the story is deeper than any other film in the cannon so far.   Also has some of the better use of time travel in recent movie history.

**** Must See

Godzilla

The king of the monsters, Godzilla faces off against equally terrifying monsters that thrive on our arrogant scientific mistakes of the past, while humanity races to survive and figure out a way to stop them.

This is a monster movie done very, very well.  Which is rather amazing, yet somewhat expected, considering it's only the director, Gareth Edwards, second film.  His first being Monsters, a very low budget monster movie for which Edwards did all of the special effects himself on his home computer.  Godzilla is a patient movie and it thrives because of it.  Comparisons of Jaws are definitely deserving as far as action, suspense and patience in revealing the monster.  Although it doesn't quite reach the character heights of said classic, that's not to say the characters aren't interesting and well acted, they do a fine job and there's plenty of heart to make you care about the characters.

The special effects are jaw dropping, some of the best of the year.  Obviously this film is right up my alley, as I am a huge monster movie fan, but I think there's enough here to enjoy for any movie goer.  There is a great nod and oneupmanship to fellow movie monster, King Kong close to the end of the film.

**** Must See

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

It has been ten years since the outbreak of the ALZ-113 virus which has spread across the globe and all but wiped out the human race. While humans, existing in a state of chaos, struggle to survive, the ape population has thrived and developed. In a final effort to save a small community of humans occupying what was once the city of San Francisco, an expedition of scientists venture into the woods in hopes of revitalizing a dam to obtain electricity. However their last hope for survival is in the middle of a territory that is now run by Caesar.

This was awkwardly entertaining. The story, albeit predictable, was well done and engaging. It’s kind of like Dances with Wolves meets First Blood. Now, having said that, there is this uncomfortable schmaltziness that comes along for the ride, this again, makes it a tad awkward. I mean I am all for the suspension of reality – I am on board with the Apes taking over the world and going all Rambo on the Human race – nevertheless, don’t force some heavy handed sentimentality on me and turn into Steel Magnolias. I don’t want to see monkeys cry – that’s just silly.

The special effects are absolutely amazing and for that alone it is worth taking the time to see this flick.



*** Must See

Rated PG-13 (for violence and language)

Tammy

Tammy has lost her job, her car, and her husband all in one horrific day. In an effort to escape and start over she hits the road with her profane alcoholic grandmother.

So this was a disappointment. I am not sure what I was expecting but certainly not a lackluster female version of Tommy Boy. Melissa McCarthy is always funny but the script is boring. Even with her quirky style and perfect timing the story itself is drab, predictable, and flat. Having said that, there are some very clever and funny moments sprinkled throughout the film but not enough to make it memorable as a whole.



** Rentable

Rated R (for language and sexual content)

The Other Woman

A woman unknowingly dating a married man is confronted by his emotionally distraught wife. The two become unexpected allies when they find that he has been cheating on them both with a third woman. The women all team up to plot out revenge on their cheating, lying, three-timing, no good man.

I didn’t expect much out of this but found it to be pretty funny. Leslie Mann (wife) is really well cast as the emotionally drained pixie stick. Cameron Diaz (girlfriend) was refreshingly not playing herself as she does in most flicks. Kate Upton (mistress) is hilarious as the clueless boobs. It reminded me a bit of the movie 9 to 5.

Nothing spectacular, but a fun night out.



** ½ Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for language and sexual content)

Brick Mansions

An undercover police officer, with the help of an escape convict, is sent into a ghetto-turned-war-zone neighborhood in downtown Detroit to defuse a stolen nuclear bomb and bring down the local War Lord.


So this movie wasn’t great but it was greatly entertaining. The dialogue is horrid and on the nose, and the plot is predictable but it was so fun to watch. As a shameless fan of Paul Walker, I will openly admit that I love watching anything he is in. The man is just ever so dreamy. Granted this film is a remake of the French film District 13 – and frankly it’s probably not as good as the original and perhaps was made to go straight to video. Nevertheless, it is chalk full of my favorite eye candy, things that blow up and lots of fight scenes that include that parkour jumping stuff. (Yes that is my official term and I am sticking to it.)

This movie is totally forgettable, poorly edited, and again extremely predictable, but like my father before me and his ridiculous Steven Segal movies, Paul Walker is a guilty pleasure and I loved it.



*** MUST SEE

Rated PG-13 (for violence and language)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Captain America is back, struggling to find his role in today's world while defending it from a threat from the past.

This one is right up there with Marvels best; the first Iron Man and The Avengers.  It's quite possibly the best, and changes everything going forward in the Marvel cinematic universe.  This movie has it all; really solid action, suspense, intrigue, comedy, conspiracy and even a little heart.  The main actors do a great job in their roles and have plenty of chemistry between them.  It's fast paced, keeps you on your toes, wanting to know what happens next.  For the Marvel fan, it's also loaded with fun Easter eggs, with appearances and mentions of some past Marvel characters and ones to come in future films.  It's particularly fun to see Cap' with his superhuman powers that he gained in the 1940's during WWII, mixed with the lethal skills of today's most highly trained soldiers.  Almost a Jason Bourne with super powers.  It is just a bit too long, you feel at some point during or just before the climax of the film, but the entire ride is loads of fun, and as with all Marvel movies, stay in your seat for a mid-credit and end-credit scene.  Oh, and it is a little on the violent side; lot's of shooting, injuring and killing.

**** Must See

Winter's Tale

A thief in early twentieth century New York, trying to outwit his unique employer opts to pull off one last heist before he heads west. While in the middle of his robbery he meets the woman he is trying to steal from and falls head over heels for her. She is dying of consumption and must remain in the cold at all times to keep her fever down and regulate her body temperature. When romance heats up between the two, her orgasm kills her, and he finds himself suddenly struck with a case of amnesia, immortality and a broken heart.


If you are still reading this after that synopsis I am issuing you a demerit. This is the stupidest movie I have seen in years. Deadly orgasms, flying horses, Will Smith is the Devil, oh the humanity!!!

I understand this was a book – has anyone read it? How did it get made into a movie?

*-DON’T DO IT!!

Rated PG-13 (for sexual content, language, and violence)

Bad Words

An adult finds a loophole and enters himself in the local Spelling Bee, despite the desperate attempts of others that conspire to keep him out he makes it to the National Bee causing quite an uproar with the other finalists as well as their parents. In spite of himself the odious man finds an unlikely friend in a nine year old competitor.

This movie is very funny but horrifically crude and crass. I don’t know that I can in good conscious recommend this to anyone as it is so vulgar, but I will admit that despite its totally predictable plot and ridiculous storyline I laughed… a lot.

If you liked The Hangover and you’re a Jason Bateman fan, this one’s for you.

** ½ Rentable

Rated R (for language, sexual content and brief nudity)

Mr. Peabody & Sherman

Mr. Peabody, genius, has adopted a boy, Sherman. Together they travel time in his “way-back” machine learning about history first hand and making friends with famous historical figures. When Sherman is faced with a bully at school he tries to impress her by showing her the “way-back” machine, in doing so, they alter history and need Mr. Peabody to help them set things right.


I grew up watching the Mr. Peabody and Sherman shorts on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show on PBS. It was one of my favorites. The dry humor and puns somehow made me laugh and I was really looking forward to this movie…

It was cute. Not great, but not bad. To be honest it was like watching an animated version of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure which isn’t too horrible. Most of the humor and the historical events might be outside the frame of reference for a small child – but there is enough noise to keep them entertained.

**1/2 Rentable

Rated PG (mild violence and rude humor)

The Monuments Men

In the middle of World War II a small platoon sets out to rescue stolen Art from the Nazi’s and return them to their proper owners.


Again I didn’t read this book and though I am sure it was very good the movie fell a tad short. It is set up to be kind of an Ocean’s 11 meets Inglorious Bastards but it never really pulled it off. The characters are funny, the story is true and I suppose inspiring, but the movie itself was totally Disneyfied. There is never a real sense of threat or urgency even in the most dramatic of scenes. For some reason I felt as though I was watching Mary Poppins and kept waiting for someone to break into song or fly away with an umbrella. The story seems rushed and the characters somewhat cookie cutteresque, which all contributes to the severe absence of drama. Kids will like it I am sure as, despite its violent setting and the subsequent deaths it is a little too sweet.

** Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for wartime violence)

Sundance Film Festival 2014

Hooray for Sundance!!!!

So here is a list of the movies that I saw this year – as some of them are unlikely to ever see the light of day – and I am under a bit of a time crunch… I have opted to post reviews of them if they are ever released, so fear not, if they come out I will post something:

• Camp X-Ray

• Cold in July

• Dear White People

• God’s Pocket

• Infinitely Polar Bear

• Fed Up

• The Notorious Mr. Bout

• Calvary

• Frank

• Hits

• Laggies

• Little Accidents

• A Most Wanted Man

• Nick Offerman: American Ham

• They Came together

• The Trip to Italy

• Wish I Was Here

• The Battered Bastards of Baseball

• Life Itself

• The Double

• The Lunchbox

• Drunktown’s Finest

• Ping Pong Summer

• Cooties

• The Guest

• What We Do In The Shadows

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

A chronic daydreamer is faced with the horrid reality that he is about to lose his job. In an effort to save his department he sets out on a global journey that changes his life in simple yet extraordinary ways.


This is totally forgettable. In fact I can barely remember watching it –now having said that, I also think that Forest Gump was forgettable and it won best picture. This was cute. It is predictable and quirky but it works and despite its lack of staying power was a delightful afternoon at the cinema.

**1/2 Rentable

Rated PG (for violence)

The Book Thief

A young girl growing up in Nazi Germany is left in the care of her new foster family. Trying to cope with the political climate and her own distain for Hitler she finds solace in stealing books and sharing the stories with others.


I didn’t read this book, and cannot give an accurate opinion on the adaptation; however as a movie in and of itself, I thought it was absolutely fabulous. I knew nothing of the storyline going in and thought that they did a wonderful job of creating a world that was both frightening and yet still family friendly without being hokey.

**** Oscar Worthy (it didn’t win anything)

Rated PG-13 (for wartime violence)

American Hustle

A con man and his seductive mistress get caught by the FBI in one of their latest scams. In order to keep from going to prison they are forced to help the investigators in an attempt to bring down the Jersey powers-that-be along with the mafia.


I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie. The characters are so much fun you are instantly drawn into their world. The art direction and costume design completely immerse you into the time period and despite the predictable plot it is a fun and charmingly quaint true story.

*** Must See

Rated R (for language)

The Wolf of Wall Street

Scorsese. Need I say more?


This flick is about a young man who becomes caught up in the lure of Wall Street in the 80’s. We all remember this, right? “Greed is good.” How about gluttony is great!

The plot is really self-explanatory so I won’t waste your time on a synopsis. Having said that – this movie, as stated before is a Scorsese film, it’s three (3) hours long, mind you most of his films are an hour too long – this one is three hours too long. Yes, one hundred and eighty minutes of sex, drugs, money, and no consequences what so ever. Lots of nudity, lots of sex, lots of drug use, and a record breaking use of the “F” bomb at 506 times. It is well acted and the overall feel is totally reminiscent of GoodFellas, the problem is that it isn’t as engaging. The mob and mafia movies in general have some sort of allure and mystic. Wall Street doesn’t – and with the current state of the economy and the repeal of the Glass-Steagall Act it is a tad difficult to care about the “under belly” of Wall Street.

If you like Scorsese this is for you.

*1/2 Barely Rentable

Rated R (let your imagination run wild -- should have been NC-17)

Ticking Time Bomb



So I admit it, I am way behind....yesterday I received a scathing phone call chastising me for not having stayed current on my reviews thereby causing the person to see Noah... now I could retort and say that one didn't need a bad review to stay away from said film, nevertheless, I do feel bad as I have completely neglected my duty to keep you informed of the latest junk. So my apologies
Here we go....

Catching Up

Captain Phillips **** One of the more engaging and intense films I've seen in the past few years. Amazing performance by Tom Hanks.

Thor: The Dark World **1/2 The pacing seemed a little off and I didn't care for the climax of the movie.  However, the dynamic and comedy between Thor and his evil brother, Loki is quite fun and entertaining.  Lots of fun action and special FX as well.  Fun after credits scene that teases Marvel's upcoming attempt at taking super heroes into space with Guardians of the Galaxy.

Gravity *** Very intense, impressively executed and solid acting by Bullock and Clooney.  Amazing special FX that you probably won't notice or necessarily think about.  For example, apparently a French reporter asked the director "What was it like filming in space?".  Spoiler alert, not a second was filmed in space.

Frozen ***1/2  Well done Disney Animation.  I had reservations coming into this.  The previews looked too much like Tangled, with snow.  I was pleasantly surprised. Great catchy music (made for Broadway), beautiful animation and a fun story with heart that has a nice, unexpected ending.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues **1/2 I didn't love the first Anchorman after seeing it for the first time.  I didn't know the Will Ferrell movie formula, I was expecting more. After several more viewings, with Will Ferrell fans, I began to appreciate it for what it is; silly, quotable, fun.  It became one of those movie that gets funnier every time you watch it.  Knowing that for part 2 helped me enjoy it much more.  I laughed quite a bit and wasn't really phased by the outrageously wacky climax, which is quite wacky.  It can get a tad raunchy in parts, but overall it's funny, mindless and quotable for teenagers.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug **1/2 I got free tickets to a midnight showing of this movie.  Mistake.  I was totally engaged and into it...until a little after the halfway point when I started to doze off.  Sleep and I battled for the rest of the movie, and come to think of it, the elves and dragon battled for the last 45 minutes as well.  Entertaining, great effects, too long and like it's predecessor it just feels less important than The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Walking With Dinosaurs *1/2 I have a tendency to get myself really excited for some movies, and I'm usually really let down by those ones.  The Star Wars prequels, the Jurassic Park sequels, Indiana Jones 4 to name a few. That said, I've never been more upset than I was while and after seeing Walking With Dinosaurs, and that's saying something considering I knew this movie had screwed up before I even saw it, thanks to the latest trailer.

Jurassic Park is my favorite movie of all time, it made me want to become an animator. I am to this day a dinosaur, special FX and animation nerd, so when you combine them...I'm all in.  I have always wanted to see a documentary style film about dinosaurs that uses the amazing special FX of today to realize the dinosaurs on screen.  No talking dinosaurs, just the most realistic depiction of dinosaurs in a dramatically engaging story, with the occasional narrator...maybe one of the Attenborough brothers, Richard and David?  The BBC and The Discovery Channel did this to a degree with the TV show Walking With Dinosaurs, back in 1999. It was basically a nature program, as if they went back in time and filmed real dinosaurs.  It was a huge hit and even spawned a very impressive live arena show with life-size animatronic dinosaurs.  I was hoping for something along the lines of the TV show, but with better, updated effects and a better story.  To some degree I got that, but it was all completely ruined by adding voice overs for each of the dinosaurs.  The animals mouths don't move while they talk, it's as if they communicate telepathically, but only some of the dinosaurs do.  It's as if they completed the film and a studio executive came in later and said "We need to put annoying, juvenile voice overs on all the characters or else kids won't understand what's happening". It's a shame.  The animation is absolutely beautiful and and the movie had a lot of potential for almost silent storytelling, a la the island sequences of The Black Stallion or the first 30 minutes of WALLE.  Disney's computer animated Dinosaur in 2000 was originally planned to have non-speaking dinosaurs, but alas, the studio got cold feet and made the dinosaurs speak.  An opportunity missed and a dinosaur nerd disappointed...again.