Robin Hood

King Arthur, now bankrupt and ruined from the crusades, leads his army home. They pillage and plunder their way through France back towards England. In battle the King is killed, leaving Robert Locksley, advisor and friend to the late King, to return the Crown back to England. On his way, Locksley’s entourage is ambushed and slaughtered by the French. A small group of English archers, led by Robin Longstride, come upon the scene and are able to recover the Crown. Robin promises the dying nobleman that they will return the crown to England.

I can only imagine that one was bored out of their mind just by reading my synopsis. Just think what it was like sitting through the two hour and twenty minute movie. That’s right, wince away. So this whole movie is a prequel to the story that we know to be Robin Hood. Which is fine. I can totally get behind, the story behind the story. I get it. But this was just so….off.

First, the set up of the set up: It took about 45 minutes just to get the characters back to England, by the time they got there, I didn’t care anymore. Second: The characters that you recognize in the classic tale, mainly the merry men, i.e. Little John, Will Scarlett and Friar Tuck are oddly assigned the comic relief of the flick, but it comes in awkwardly late in the story and the humor doesn’t fit the tone of the movie itself—they then disappear and you forget about them entirely. The Sheriff of Nottingham is a buffoon and in the movie a total of 6 minutes. Prince John isn’t threatening as a villain and you never take him seriously as the antagonist. I will say that I really like the idea of the cast, namely Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett, who did a great job here – but the material itself was just pitiful.

* ½ Barely Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for violence)