The Three Musketeers

Athos, Aramis, and Porthos... you all know the story, right?

OK so I went into this with, I don't know, gusto perhaps?  I was excited, though not overly expectant.  Wow!  Disappointing to say the least.

Let me break down the flaws for you.... so first of all, they tried to "Sherlock Holmes" it up.  You know what I mean by that, don't you?  Lots of slow motion, clever wood-worked gadgets, and a touch of the matrix.  Yes, well that didn't really work here.  You see, The Three Musketeers, though fiction, is a classical story about the art and skill of swordsmen.  When you attempt to turn them into a seventeenth century mission impossible crew, the story suffers.

Speaking of story.... correct me if I am wrong, but were there flying hot air balloon pirate ships in Alexandre Dumas' novel?  I mean, I know that wasn't in my book.  And OK, it's understood that this is fiction and that one might add their own twist or flair to it, but this so did not work.  It was ridiculous and completely leveled the authenticity and fun of a classic action adventure story.  Along the lines of the writing, the dialogue.... way too modern. Uncomfortably so.  The hodgepodge mix of accents, be they French, English, American, or what have you was annoying too.  Now we come to the cast.  This is where they actually did a semi-decent job.  They were believable, the looked the part, and had they had a cohesive script might have made a fun movie.  Funny thing is, that the 1993 Disney version of this, though somewhat comically and cartoonishly cast, did a MUCH better job.  They followed the story, they all spoke in a classical cadence while still able to be humorous, simple yet consistent accents, and it was believable -- not to mention satisfying. This one gets so off track the ending is crushingly dumb. Don't do it.


* 1/2 Rentable


Rated PG-13 (for violence)