The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

It’s part three.

OK kids, you know that I would rather walk on my lips than to criticize anybody… nevertheless let me take a moment to re-assess our situation here with the Hobbit.

The prequel to The Lord of the Ring trilogy....



To recap, the book The Fellowship of the Ring is 398 pages long. The book The Two Towers is 327 pages and the book Return of the King is 412 pages long. Each of these books were neatly adapted into award winning films of some length --178 minutes, 179 minutes, and 201 minutes respectively.



Once again, with this information, could someone please elucidate as to why the book The Hobbit, a book that is only 310 pages long was adapted into three, yes three cinematic episodes 169 minutes, 161 minutes, and finally a 144 minute picture? It makes no sense! Let me, if I may, point out the following; if I am not mistaken The Hobbit is a children’s’ book. A predecessor to the epic stories of The Lord of the Ring it may be, but it was first and foremost a CHILDRENS book. Now in my mind I would think that this is a great opportunity to create a film that is

A) Scaled back, literally and figuratively told from the perspective of a Hobbit, perhaps making it not so extravagantly warlike and grisly.

B) Is childlike, more whimsical while still full of intricate details that pay homage to the stories that will follow, yet still shrewd enough perhaps only to be appreciated by the truly devout fans, thereby letting the story and film stand on its own.

And

C) Made once (not three times) and under two hours!

This final chapter to a seemingly never ending story was in my mind a huge let down. It picks up right where we last left off and like the subtitle informs us, it is a battle of the five armies. That’s pretty much it. That's right ***spoiler alert*** there is an ostentatious battle of five armies. No plot points mind you – just a giant mêlée that plays out like a soap operatic epilogue. Although the special effects are spectacular the movie itself presents the audience with about 3 minutes of new information divided up by 141 minutes of fighting and backdrops.

For those that are earnest fans of the marathon stories it is a must see, but for those that are barely enthusiasts. Ehhh.

** Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for violence and gore)

Official Site: http://www.thehobbit.com/

Penguins of Madagascar

Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private become the target of the devious Dr. Octavius Brine. An elitist’s special ops group, known as The North Wind, comes to the rescue in an effort to stop Dr. Oct and his evil plan.


It’s forgettable. It’s cute and has very clever dialogue, most of which will be way over the head of small children. The plot itself is marginal and the characters are pretty one dimensional. However what it lacks in heart it makes up for in cynicism as it doesn’t take itself seriously in any way, which can be fun.

Nothing to run out and see, but a tolerable hour and a half at the movies if needs be.

** Rentable

Rated PG (for mild rude humor and action)

Official Site: http://madagascar.dreamworks.com/