Fame

Fame = Lame.









* out of 4. Not a chance.

Extract

Joel is the owner of a flavor extract company. While his business is booming his personal life is falling apart. To make matters worse he has recently hired a very attractive con-artist.

Oh I was so excited to see anything with Jason Bateman in it. I absolutely love him. Alas even he could not pull this movie off. The story was predictable, the pacing horrifically slow. The audience was constantly four or five steps ahead of the plot. The characters were trite and boring. And it really wasn't even that funny.

I kept waiting for…something to happen…anything, but it never did.

So sad.

** Rentable

Rated R (for language and sexual content)

All About Steve

Mary is a walking encyclopedia. Her knowledge about seemingly, everything, makes her extremely socially awkward. Her parents, in an attempt to help her, set her up on a blind date. The date lasts only five minutes when Steve, is called off to work. The rest of the movie is Mary stalking him.

In my defense, I didn’t even want to see this movie. A friend, who shall remain nameless, bamboozled me into seeing it. I informed said friend, that this movie in recent polls got a Turkey. A Turkey! No Stars. None. Twenty minutes into the movie I got many an apology.

NOT-A-CHANCE (that’s no stars)

Rated PG-13 (for sexual content)

Julie & Julia

Julie is frustrated with her career and the success of those around her. In an attempt to center herself she decides to blog her way through Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

I saw this flick a little late in the game, hearing rave reviews, only to be horrifically disappointed by it. The movie is two stories edited together and frankly we could have done with out the Amy Adams part. She was annoying and unsympathetic. The Julia Child part was more interesting and Meryl Streep is fabulous as Julia Child; however I was disturbed by the incessant love scenes with her and her husband. I mean come on people – no one wants to see Julia Child having sex.

Too long, too annoying, and too much.

** Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for randomly placed language and the awkward sex)

District 9

Aliens become refugees in Johannesburg, South Africa at a camp known as District 9. Here the government attempts to keep the Aliens isolated from humans, while ignoring their health and welfare; they harass and abuse to get information about the alien weaponry.

I was more than pleasantly surprised by this movie. It was scary, entertaining, fun, and thought provoking. It is a tad heavy handed in its political and social commentary, but still very well done.

I went in not knowing what the movie was about, which is always the best way to see a movie, and really liked it. The totally unknown cast makes the movie all the more real, as a single personality is not carrying the movie or give you preconceived notions as to where the story will end up. Kind of like Alien meets The Great Escape.

*** Must See

Rated R (for language and violence)

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra

A secret, peace keeping, terrorist-fighting organization known as "G.I. Joe" made up of the best of the best from every military group around the world, is drawn into an epic battle when three warheads containing microscopic anything-eating engineered bugs are stolen by a very well-funded terrorist group.

I went into this movie with very, very low expectations because a) It's directed by the same guy that directed The Mummy, so I was expecting uncomfortably cheesy dialogue. b) Because they didn't allow critics to view it, c) It was an August release and not May, June or July with all the other blockbusters, and d) Because it's based on a cartoon series which was based on a line of toys....So, with my expectations nice and low, I was entertained and enjoyed it. There's plenty of cheese and bad acting but lots of fun action and special fx. Also being a very big G.I. Joe fan as a kid, it was fun to see all of my favorite characters on screen. I would have loved this movie if it came out when I was 8 years old. And that may be the issue, this is intended for the 8-17 year old boy, but none of those grew up with G.I. Joe. It's the kids from the 80's that grew up with the cartoon series and toys at their peak of popularity. But it really is wall to wall action with one too many flash backs. Some of the animation of characters doing extreme, maybe stylized actions, feel a tad too unrealistic. And all the action/battles/fights/chases in the last 30 minutes can get a little confusing. It's not comparable to the first Transformers but not as bad as the second Transformers. But it is what it's supposed to be, I guess. See it if you're a G.I. Joe fan or want some mindless, explosive summer movie fun.

**1/2 out of 4 - Rentable

The Hurt Locker

Bravo Company, an elite Army bomb squad unit has 39 days left of active duty in Iraq. They struggle to come together when the new Staff Sergeant arrives. His cavalier attitude and renegade style seems to bring the chaos of war to a whole new level and the potential of getting out alive at tremendous risk.

Wow. Amazing performances, engaging story, and nail biting suspense. As a matter of fact, I don’t remember that last time I saw a movie that kept me on the edge of my seat from the moment it started – probably Die Hard.

This was so well done, and felt so real, one forgets that it isn’t a documentary. Kathryn Bigelow did an amazing job directing. It is truly a voyeuristic masterpiece. No twists or plot holes, just a glimpse at what war is.

*** ½ MUST SEE

Rated R (for language and violence)

Funny People

A famous, albeit jerk of a comedian finds out that he has a rare cancer that will take his life within the year. As he prepares for his inevitable death, he hires an unknown stand-up comedian to be his assistant and help him tie up all his loose ends.

Just so you know, Funny People isn’t that funny. It tries to be, but it’s not. It is a pitiful attempt at trying to make comedy look serious. If you can imagine it, it was like Terms of Endearment meets The Odd Couple, Seth Rogen style. Yeah, I know.

It was an interesting idea, but it takes on a weird twist that is hard to care about when the characters themselves are so despicable. The forgettable supporting cast includes Jason Schwartzman and Jonah Hill who probably have the best lines throughout the movie. Also as my attention span is that of a four year old, I must once again harp on the fact that this movie was two and a half hours long. I mean, for reals?

** Rentable

Rated R (for language, nudity, and crude sexual humor)

(500) Days of Summer

Tom is heart broken when his girlfriend, Summer, for no apparent reason suddenly dumps him. He then looks back at the 500 days they spent together in hopes of figuring out where he went wrong and what he can do to get her back.

I saw this at Sundance earlier this year and was surprised that I liked it just as much the second time around. There is nothing mind blowing about the story – we have all seen it before. However, the way it is all compiled is just refreshing and fun.

The opening title card is fabulous!!

*** MUST SEE

Rated PG-13 (for language)

The Ugly Truth

An uptight television producer is forced into working with the new “talent”— an over opinionated talk show host that feels it is his duty to tell it like it is when it comes to men and women. The two points of view clash and collide, each trying to prove that their theory on the opposite sex and relationships is the right one.

Yeah this movie was hopeless. First of all it was clearly written to be a chick flick, a light hearted romantic comedy, but in an effort to lure in the male audience, they tried to make it a Seth Rogen movie—which it is not. The dialogue is trite, the pacing horrific, the story weak, and the actors have no chemistry. It is neither clever nor cute. Just dumb.

*1/2 Not-A-Chance

Rated R (for language)