Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

It has been ten years since the outbreak of the ALZ-113 virus which has spread across the globe and all but wiped out the human race. While humans, existing in a state of chaos, struggle to survive, the ape population has thrived and developed. In a final effort to save a small community of humans occupying what was once the city of San Francisco, an expedition of scientists venture into the woods in hopes of revitalizing a dam to obtain electricity. However their last hope for survival is in the middle of a territory that is now run by Caesar.

This was awkwardly entertaining. The story, albeit predictable, was well done and engaging. It’s kind of like Dances with Wolves meets First Blood. Now, having said that, there is this uncomfortable schmaltziness that comes along for the ride, this again, makes it a tad awkward. I mean I am all for the suspension of reality – I am on board with the Apes taking over the world and going all Rambo on the Human race – nevertheless, don’t force some heavy handed sentimentality on me and turn into Steel Magnolias. I don’t want to see monkeys cry – that’s just silly.

The special effects are absolutely amazing and for that alone it is worth taking the time to see this flick.



*** Must See

Rated PG-13 (for violence and language)

Tammy

Tammy has lost her job, her car, and her husband all in one horrific day. In an effort to escape and start over she hits the road with her profane alcoholic grandmother.

So this was a disappointment. I am not sure what I was expecting but certainly not a lackluster female version of Tommy Boy. Melissa McCarthy is always funny but the script is boring. Even with her quirky style and perfect timing the story itself is drab, predictable, and flat. Having said that, there are some very clever and funny moments sprinkled throughout the film but not enough to make it memorable as a whole.



** Rentable

Rated R (for language and sexual content)

The Other Woman

A woman unknowingly dating a married man is confronted by his emotionally distraught wife. The two become unexpected allies when they find that he has been cheating on them both with a third woman. The women all team up to plot out revenge on their cheating, lying, three-timing, no good man.

I didn’t expect much out of this but found it to be pretty funny. Leslie Mann (wife) is really well cast as the emotionally drained pixie stick. Cameron Diaz (girlfriend) was refreshingly not playing herself as she does in most flicks. Kate Upton (mistress) is hilarious as the clueless boobs. It reminded me a bit of the movie 9 to 5.

Nothing spectacular, but a fun night out.



** ½ Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for language and sexual content)

Brick Mansions

An undercover police officer, with the help of an escape convict, is sent into a ghetto-turned-war-zone neighborhood in downtown Detroit to defuse a stolen nuclear bomb and bring down the local War Lord.


So this movie wasn’t great but it was greatly entertaining. The dialogue is horrid and on the nose, and the plot is predictable but it was so fun to watch. As a shameless fan of Paul Walker, I will openly admit that I love watching anything he is in. The man is just ever so dreamy. Granted this film is a remake of the French film District 13 – and frankly it’s probably not as good as the original and perhaps was made to go straight to video. Nevertheless, it is chalk full of my favorite eye candy, things that blow up and lots of fight scenes that include that parkour jumping stuff. (Yes that is my official term and I am sticking to it.)

This movie is totally forgettable, poorly edited, and again extremely predictable, but like my father before me and his ridiculous Steven Segal movies, Paul Walker is a guilty pleasure and I loved it.



*** MUST SEE

Rated PG-13 (for violence and language)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Captain America is back, struggling to find his role in today's world while defending it from a threat from the past.

This one is right up there with Marvels best; the first Iron Man and The Avengers.  It's quite possibly the best, and changes everything going forward in the Marvel cinematic universe.  This movie has it all; really solid action, suspense, intrigue, comedy, conspiracy and even a little heart.  The main actors do a great job in their roles and have plenty of chemistry between them.  It's fast paced, keeps you on your toes, wanting to know what happens next.  For the Marvel fan, it's also loaded with fun Easter eggs, with appearances and mentions of some past Marvel characters and ones to come in future films.  It's particularly fun to see Cap' with his superhuman powers that he gained in the 1940's during WWII, mixed with the lethal skills of today's most highly trained soldiers.  Almost a Jason Bourne with super powers.  It is just a bit too long, you feel at some point during or just before the climax of the film, but the entire ride is loads of fun, and as with all Marvel movies, stay in your seat for a mid-credit and end-credit scene.  Oh, and it is a little on the violent side; lot's of shooting, injuring and killing.

**** Must See

Winter's Tale

A thief in early twentieth century New York, trying to outwit his unique employer opts to pull off one last heist before he heads west. While in the middle of his robbery he meets the woman he is trying to steal from and falls head over heels for her. She is dying of consumption and must remain in the cold at all times to keep her fever down and regulate her body temperature. When romance heats up between the two, her orgasm kills her, and he finds himself suddenly struck with a case of amnesia, immortality and a broken heart.


If you are still reading this after that synopsis I am issuing you a demerit. This is the stupidest movie I have seen in years. Deadly orgasms, flying horses, Will Smith is the Devil, oh the humanity!!!

I understand this was a book – has anyone read it? How did it get made into a movie?

*-DON’T DO IT!!

Rated PG-13 (for sexual content, language, and violence)

Bad Words

An adult finds a loophole and enters himself in the local Spelling Bee, despite the desperate attempts of others that conspire to keep him out he makes it to the National Bee causing quite an uproar with the other finalists as well as their parents. In spite of himself the odious man finds an unlikely friend in a nine year old competitor.

This movie is very funny but horrifically crude and crass. I don’t know that I can in good conscious recommend this to anyone as it is so vulgar, but I will admit that despite its totally predictable plot and ridiculous storyline I laughed… a lot.

If you liked The Hangover and you’re a Jason Bateman fan, this one’s for you.

** ½ Rentable

Rated R (for language, sexual content and brief nudity)

Mr. Peabody & Sherman

Mr. Peabody, genius, has adopted a boy, Sherman. Together they travel time in his “way-back” machine learning about history first hand and making friends with famous historical figures. When Sherman is faced with a bully at school he tries to impress her by showing her the “way-back” machine, in doing so, they alter history and need Mr. Peabody to help them set things right.


I grew up watching the Mr. Peabody and Sherman shorts on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show on PBS. It was one of my favorites. The dry humor and puns somehow made me laugh and I was really looking forward to this movie…

It was cute. Not great, but not bad. To be honest it was like watching an animated version of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure which isn’t too horrible. Most of the humor and the historical events might be outside the frame of reference for a small child – but there is enough noise to keep them entertained.

**1/2 Rentable

Rated PG (mild violence and rude humor)

The Monuments Men

In the middle of World War II a small platoon sets out to rescue stolen Art from the Nazi’s and return them to their proper owners.


Again I didn’t read this book and though I am sure it was very good the movie fell a tad short. It is set up to be kind of an Ocean’s 11 meets Inglorious Bastards but it never really pulled it off. The characters are funny, the story is true and I suppose inspiring, but the movie itself was totally Disneyfied. There is never a real sense of threat or urgency even in the most dramatic of scenes. For some reason I felt as though I was watching Mary Poppins and kept waiting for someone to break into song or fly away with an umbrella. The story seems rushed and the characters somewhat cookie cutteresque, which all contributes to the severe absence of drama. Kids will like it I am sure as, despite its violent setting and the subsequent deaths it is a little too sweet.

** Rentable

Rated PG-13 (for wartime violence)

Sundance Film Festival 2014

Hooray for Sundance!!!!

So here is a list of the movies that I saw this year – as some of them are unlikely to ever see the light of day – and I am under a bit of a time crunch… I have opted to post reviews of them if they are ever released, so fear not, if they come out I will post something:

• Camp X-Ray

• Cold in July

• Dear White People

• God’s Pocket

• Infinitely Polar Bear

• Fed Up

• The Notorious Mr. Bout

• Calvary

• Frank

• Hits

• Laggies

• Little Accidents

• A Most Wanted Man

• Nick Offerman: American Ham

• They Came together

• The Trip to Italy

• Wish I Was Here

• The Battered Bastards of Baseball

• Life Itself

• The Double

• The Lunchbox

• Drunktown’s Finest

• Ping Pong Summer

• Cooties

• The Guest

• What We Do In The Shadows